I was scrolling through social media when I came across a proposal video. I watched it, and many others like it, and I realized what I don’t want anymore.
A year ago I would have my dream man, proposal, and wedding laid out for you in a matter of seconds. I knew everything I wanted, even how the proposal was supposed to happen. Listen, it was all mapped out…down to the pictures I wanted. But after watching these videos I realized that my dream proposal and wedding never took “him” into consideration. Again, selfish thinking.
After watching these videos I’m more aware of how important it is for two people to be autonomous and still have a sense of self when coming together. My issue has been focusing on what things need to look like instead of being mindful of what the reality of the situation is.
My mother always told me to never envy what others have because I didn’t know what it took to get it. I’m at the point now where validation isn’t necessary, acceptance isn’t desired, and pleasing others is a thing of the past.
The “real” truth is: I don’t have dreams established on reality and that’s been my biggest disappointment.