Written February 8, 2017
It 1:30 am on a random Wednesday am I’m just up. It seems as though my mind likes to focus on things I try to brush off around this time so I thought I would write about it.
This morning I’m wondering how many people have been told “you’re too much” by someone they’re interested in and begin to doubt themselves. I will be the first to admit that I’ve been that person, more times that I would like. I’ve been told that I’m too emotional, want too much, or that I react to situations wrong (usually when the person has done something wrong). Well this morning, at 1:06 am, I am starting to look at things through a different lens.
It’s amazing to me that I can be labeled “too much” when I’m asking something of someone, but when I’m giving of myself there are no complaints. When I’m making sure the guy in my life has both what he wants and needs there are no complaints…but when he’s caught in a lie or does something wrong my actions all of a sudden become too much. How Sway?
Response April 26, 2017
I love writing when I’m in my feelings! Reading these allow me to remember where I was when I decided to sit down and vomit my feelings. While reading this rant a simple thought came to mind…growth is necessary for forward movement.
Right now I’m in such a good place simply because I stopped trying to place “him” in a box. The amazing thing about this world of dating is every time we begin a new relationship journey we have two options:
1. Continue to build in a world that’s already created
2. Start fresh and allow yourself to build something new with someone new.
So many times I’ve tried to be who I thought I needed to be in a relationship rather than being myself, and it’s caused unnecessary frustrations. But when I’ve entered into a situation focused on making things better than my last relationship (option 1) I don’t allow myself to have experiences based on the relationship I’m currently pursuing. By going to each new relationship with the idea of “creating something new” I give myself permission to feel things differently, experience things differently, and respond to things based on my growth…not the action.