So, this week a video of Pastor John Gray of Houston, Texas has gone viral from Megafest 2017. In this video, he talks about how every woman has a desire for her husband to spoil her. For her to come home to him saying that he’s paying for her hair, nails, and everything else that means “he cares”. Now, I watched the video the first time and I agreed. I mean, standing up in my living room shouting “yesssss” as he continued to speak. The thought of having my husband care enough about me to show his love for me in ways that speak to my heart makes me smile, but then reality hit…and it hit hard.
I started to think of how many women have everything the pastor was talking about but don’t have a husband. Yes, they are married but they aren’t in the company of a husband. They have a roommate, a sex partner, someone to raise their children with but are lacking the priest of their home. As I started to think about social media and how so many people feel pressured to make their marriage “look good” I realized that many women reacted to this video out of a lack of intimate human connection.
I have come to the realization that I have idolized marriage to the point that I am more concerned about what my husband is able to do for me more than who he is in my life. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t love a man to do all that the pastor spoke about…but I don’t want it after he cheats after he’s caught in a lie, or after I threaten to leave. I want the actions in the video to be the icing on the cake.
Unlike most humans, I’m not a fan of icing. I can eat a cake with or without and really see no difference. But I can’t stand a dry or nasty cake. Too many people are living in marriages that are like that dry or nasty cake, spreading on icing hoping that it makes the cake taste better. I pray for a marriage that is like my grandmother’s red velvet cake…so moist that it literally melts in your mouth. A marriage that doesn’t need anything to make it look or taste better, but that can stand on its own and be sweet to all who eat it.
A healthy marriage is what I desire, a husband that is seeking God daily, and a ministry that is exposed daily through our walk together. That video spoke to me initially but made me desire more. Every Christian woman desires a man that leads out in morning worship, who intercedes on her behalf, who seeks God before making decisions, who calls her in the middle of the day to ask “How are you doing?” and if the answer isn’t what he needs to hear begins to pray over the phone, a man gives her something to submit to, a man who calls out and helps to cultivate the gifts God has given her, a man who even after the title of “Father” is added to his name the title of “Husband” comes first.